Limerence and love, the similarities and differences
Love and limerence may be challenging to distinguish between if you have experienced both in a romantic sense. Here are some quick pointers that might help you identify if you’re feeling love, limerence, or a mixture of both.
Similarities
Love and limerence involve strong emotions and feelings towards someone else. The feelings are positive, intoxicating, and generally pleasurable to indulge in.
They can both be intense experiences that can have a significant effect on one’s thoughts, behaviors, and well-being. You may feel different to your ‘usual self’ in either of those states.
In a romantic setting, both involve physical attraction and a desire for intimacy with the other person in most cases.
Differences
Love is a mature and potentially long-lasting and empowering emotion, while limerence is often described as infatuation or an intense crush that may not last. Though, limerence can lasts months or years at a time.
Love often involves a deeper understanding of the other person’s personality, values, and flaws. While limerence is be based more on idealised fantasies of the other person. You may not see that while being limerent, but after limerence it becomes clear you were not thinking about that person in a proportionate or realistic way.
Limerence tends to be focused on achieving reciprocated feelings from the other person, while love is characterised by mutual respect and support for each other’s goals and aspirations. This includes know
Limerence usually involves obsessive thoughts and rumination about the other person. A limerent person will have a preoccupation with the LO’s actions or whereabouts, while love involves more balanced thoughts about the other person in a way that does not negatively impact their lives on the whole. Limerence usually has negative effects on a person who does not manage it.
